An Autism Diary

A day in the life of David Hartley

My Most Important Lesson – guest post by Ingar (Australia)

I think I’d like to talk about the most important lesson that my son Oscar has taught me.  That is to stay in this moment.  Most of us have a habit of projecting into the future.  When the pediatrician said he has Autistic disorder to me I was a bit numb.  My experience of autism was in the classroom where I’d only taught children with aspergers or high functioning autism and these were teenagers.  It was very hard to apply what I’d know to my then 3 year old son.  I was thinking they talk and don’t flap around, tippy toe and repeat everything in a strange ritual.  So it was lining up with what I’d understood.  Being a top bloke he drew it for me on paper.   “Here is your son at the end of this line.  They are at the other end and it won’t impact on them as much.”   I said to him I must be a terrible mother because my son can’t do what other children his age are doing.  I must have done something terribly wrong here.  He said you have nothing to do with this believe me.  As it all was sinking in I was left to wonder how can I help Oscar?

I got into my car to drive us home and I couldn’t stop crying.  I’d held it together in that office but my view of the future at that moment was at an all time low.  So on we went to the many therapy appointments.  I have worked full-time since Oscar was born and you can imagine between work, daycare, therapy and little to no sleep life wasnt much fun.  Then it started to click.  I could see what these therapists were trying to do with him and why.  It was all about him communicating and interacting with people and toys and his environment.  I get it!  The wow moment.

I was asking questions.  Will he speak?  We don’t know, many with severe autism never learn.  Will he look when I call him?  It still didn’t look good.  I became so sad about his future I stopped taking photos and videos.  I stopped enjoying the now!  I was just focused on therapy and diet and all along missing out on just having fun with my boy.  I was watching Oscar and how much he enjoyed his interests.  How everyday was new and exciting to him and I realized I was truly very lucky to be with this boy.

It was this future that was stopping us.  I became very attuned to Oscar.  I no longer have a view of the future.  I have for a good year just enjoyed Oscar.  He has started to speak a little.  He makes my life awesome.  He wins hearts everywhere.  When the holidays come I don’t make a list anymore of all the things I’d like to teach him.  I just be Mum and have a great break with my little guy.  I don’t know the future but I do know how magical my Wizard is. 🙂




For more from the blog event
Autism: The Bigger Picture
please visit here.  Thanks for reading! : )


1 Comment

  1. Beautiful 🙂 Thanks Ingar 🙂

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